Lost Senorita
by XxAriaxX
Summary: When Lily takes up a job at a Muggle restaurant, she thinks that she can finally settle down and forget about the past. But when she meets up with James Potter, she realizes that it's going to take more than a Muggle job and a few friends to forgive the o
1. Spanish Queen

A/N: Okay, okay, I know… I shouldn't be starting a third story, especially since I haven't updated in a long time. But, I wanted to write something different… so I chose this. I just hope it will turn out to be kind of different… Well, please tell me what you think! Oh, and one short message to the readers: I don't know Spanish, but I've used some in this story, so the grammar might be wrong since all I've used to translate is the Microsoft Word translator… So please forgive me! I'll see if I can find a more reliable translator… like a person. If anyone is willing to volunteer, that'll be great!

*

APRIL 27, 1983

_London_

There was a screech of brakes as the yellow Jeep slid to a halt on the side of the road. A curtain of red waved about in the slowly setting sunlight. Two sparkling emeralds shone from behind brilliant blue shades. With a bang, the door slammed open.

Eighteen-year-old Liliane Evans jumped down from the driver's seat and looked around her. She ran her hand through her shoulder length auburn hair. A simple gold bracelet shone as it hung loosely on her thin wrist. Car after car sped by her. How on earth was she supposed to cross the road? But a small voice in her head told her the more than obvious answer.

_Maybe you should go up to the traffic lights. The cars will stop there for sure._

She had heard that voice before, but she couldn't quite place it. Lily answered the voice back in her mind.

_Who are you?_

_I'm your conscience, dummy._

_Well, for a conscience, you aren't very nice._

_Well, what can I do? I was forced to be the conscience of someone who isn't very smart… so I guess we're even, aren't we?_

To this, Lily had no answer. She walked up to the lights slowly and waited, seating herself on a nearby bench. She hated arguing with her conscience, because such arguments always took place when she thought she was right. The problem was, while she _thought she was right, she __knew that her conscience was right for sure._

The light for pedestrians turned green and Lily walked across slowly, but was staring at her feet, thinking to herself. Soon, she had walked into someone who seemed a good deal larger than she was.

"Can't you watch where you're going?" the person spat at her. It was a man.

Lily answered that she was terribly sorry, but she couldn't help but feel that she somehow recognized his voice. She looked at his face, taking in his fiery eyes and messy black hair. For some reason, she couldn't place it.

As she was studying his face, she noticed that he was at least half a foot taller than she was. She also noticed that he was looking around for something. Lily glanced down and picked up a pair of black glasses.

"Are these yours?" she asked as politely as she could.

"Oh, yeah, they are – thanks, I guess," he answered, a mixture of surprise and puzzlement on his face. He reached out for them and she placed them in his outstretched hand.

"No problem," she murmured in response. Not knowing whether to walk away or introduce herself, she just stared at him as he put his glasses on. The moment they were back in position, the answer clicked in her head.

"I say, you're James Potter, aren't you? Do you remember me? I'm Liliane Evans, and I was in Slytherin. I was Head Girl when you were Head Boy," she said excitedly.

"Of course I remember you. How can anyone forget the Slytherin that disgraced the rest of the school by becoming Head Girl? Now get lost, Evans. I should think that a Muggleborn Slytherin like you would know the meaning of that?"

And with those harsh words, James walked across the street. A beep of a car horn brought Lily back to her sense. She had been blocking the traffic for a minute or two, even though the traffic lights had long since changed. She ran quickly to the other side, hurriedly blinking her eyes as she tried to force back the tears that threatened to fall. Monday just wasn't her favorite day of the week.

_First, I nearly crash my Jeep into another car, then my conscience calls me dumb, and now this happens. This just isn't my day. I bet now I'm going to get fired before I even start work…_

For you see, Lily wasn't just going for a stroll around London. She was going to her new job. It had been the job of her dreams ever since she was six, ever since her best friend's mom had taken on a similar job. Lily and Candace McDonald (called Candy for short) would play for hours together, taking turns at the job and being customers. But when they turned eleven, Lily got her letter and was sent off to Hogwarts and made new friends – as well as plenty of new enemies.

Being a Slytherin, she was shunned by every other house, and the fact that she was a Muggleborn made even those in her own house turn their noses up at her. There were only two people who she could safely call her friends. One of them was a boy by the name of Sidney Caraway. He, too, was shunned and teased because of his thick Aussie accent, and his less-than-average intelligence. He looked up to Lily a great deal, and she thought of him as a good and loyal friend. He would do anything for her, and she paid him back by helping him with schoolwork.

Liliane's other friend was Severus Snape. Severus, or Sev as his friends called him, was a much better student than an athlete. He was an expert at all subjects especially Defense and Potions. But at Quidditch, he was hopeless. He wasn't able to get the knack of riding a broom properly, much less playing Quidditch. He could barely fly with both hands on his broom, let alone catch a ball in midair. Once, he had tried hexing the other brooms so that it would appear that he was a better flier. But he had only ended up with a detention – during which he had been forced to clean out the Owlery.

Unlike Lily, both Severus and Sidney were fascinated by the Dark Arts, and they both dreamed of following Voldemort as loyal Death Eaters. Though the one thing Lily could not dissuade Sidney of was his dream, it was the one argument in which Lily had power over Severus.

But then, Severus and Lily were not ordinary friends. The three outcasts had started together as acquaintances and they were soon forced to become friends, when everyone else had abandoned them. By their third year, they were inseparable. But for some reason, whereas Sidney maintained the status of Lily's friend, Severus turned out to be something else. Neither Lily nor Severus could fathom why they suddenly had a deepened interest in one another towards the middle of their fourth year. By the time that they were both pronounced prefects, they had experienced their first walk together, their first drink together, their first kiss together, and their first night in the grounds together.

Sidney didn't mind any of this. On the other hand, he encouraged them to spend as much time together as possible, for, in his words, "Sev has to get ready to become a Death Eater." But there, he had made a mistake. Lily had made such an impact on Severus' life that he soon had second thoughts about his dream of going to the Dark Side.

Lily suddenly stopped – and her thoughts whirled around in her mind as she realized that she had already reached her destination. She had come upon a one-story building that had been made in the old Spanish-Mexican style. The roof was of shingles. The eaves went down about a foot, and at the end, they resembled green and red waves. The walls were like the adobe walls that were used in Spain and in Southwestern America. On the front wall, a sign hung that read _Muchachos__ – Mexican Cuisine. Lily smiled inwardly. Who would have thought that the Hogwarts' Head Girl of '79 would turn out to be a waitress at a Mexican restaurant? Lily walked up to the door and pushed. As she entered, she heard the faint tinkle of a bell, and the familiar smell of spices beckoned her to come in. She walked inside cautiously, her tennis shoes making a small squeak with each step on the hardwood floor. She approached the counter, and rang the small bell that was there._

Within a few seconds, a short, plump Spanish lady in a red frilly dress came to the counter. She was muttering angrily and wiping her hands hurriedly on her clothes. Her black hair was braided down her back, but around her head, it had come undone and was forming ringlets that framed her face. She was a pretty woman, without much makeup on, but her flushed face had a look of anger on it. Lily assumed that she was in her mid thirties.

"You wanting a table, yes?" she asked when she spotted Lily standing there.

"Oh, no, I'm supposed to be your new waitress. May I speak to Senor Valdez please?" Lily asked politely. She felt right at home with the Spanish woman. But then, she felt right at home in Spain too, having been born and brought up there for most of her life before Hogwarts.

Lily's mother had been British, but she moved to Spain when she was young and spent most of her life there. In time, she married a Spanish man. But Lily's mother died soon after Lily herself was born, and so her father remarried – this time to the young daughter of a wealthy aristocrat. Lily soon had a sister whom they named Petunia. (Lily's stepmother loved flowers, and thought that it would be interesting if both the daughters had flowery names.) The family of four moved back to England when Lily turned nine and Petunia three. There, Lily met Candace. When she turned ten, Lily had another sister by the name of Daisy. She also had a brother – Daisy's twin – who was named José. But after Lily started her third year at Hogwarts, the father and the two twins were attacked by Voldemort. Lily's sister and stepmother moved back to Spain, so Lily was forced to move back as well – though Dumbledore refused to have her leave Hogwarts.

Her past was filled with tragedies, but she had fought her way through them and had grown into a fine person. Now, as she looked around her, her mind filled up with memories of her childhood.

The woman beckoned Lily to follow her, and Lily complied willingly. They walked past rows of tables – each set with placemats and silverware – and into a small hallway. Lily liked the look of the restaurant, for its furnishings were simple but tasteful, with dark oak tables and chairs and Mexican and Spanish paintings and pottery in a few places. There were a few cacti in corners, and all in all, Lily felt like it was perfect. There was only one thing missing – customers.

As the twosome approached the door, the Spanish woman knocked on it. Lily heard a muffled "_Entre__ Señora" as a reply. They entered, and Lily saw a thin, balding man sitting at a desk, poring over some papers. He had black hair and soft dark eyes that were surrounded by long lashes – most uncommon for men like him. He looked just like her father… But he was different. Her father had been big built, with a tall stature and plenty of fat around the middle. But the eyes, lashes, and brows – they were the same. Even the wrinkles at the corners and the dimpled cheeks were exactly the same. When the man spoke, it was as though her father was speaking. But Lily shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memories. Thinking of her father was painful. _

"_Esta__ es la nuevo camarera," the lady said. Lily understood perfectly. She had said, "This is the new waitress." Lily smiled. She liked to hear Spanish being spoken. She felt as though she was back at home with her mother and father. Even though her mother was British, Spanish was the primary language in their home._

"_Sí__, ella parecí estar fiable. You look like you will make a good waitress, Senorita. Have you any experience in this field?"_

"I'm sorry, but the only time I've ever been a waitress is when I was playing with my friend in her backyard. _Lo siento," Lily replied. The reaction from the other two at her last few words was remarkable. They hadn't expected the redhead to speak their language. They had never thought someone with such Anglicized mannerisms would be so familiar with their ways._

"_Yo__ soy tan española __como__ yo soy inglesa. I am as Spanish as I am English," Lily said laughing a little at their surprise. Senor Valdez began to laugh too. Then he spoke._

"I am sure that you will be as good of a waitress as you are an entertainer, Senorita. Ah, but what is your name?"

"Oh yeah, I'm Liliane Evans," she said, making a mental note to remember such things in the future.

"Liliane – you have not a shorter name?" the woman next to her asked.

"You can call me Lily. But what's your name?"

"This is Nina. She works here with her daughter – Ana. Her boy, Maurice, also helps as a cook," Valdez explained.

"Oh, so your whole family works here. Uh, where are Maurice and Ana?" Lily asked, starting to feel rather strange. These were not her people. They may be Spanish, but they were not like her, as she was beginning to realize.

"Ana is in school today still. She comes at only five. Maurice is in kitchen cleaning. He finished school three years back. He cannot go college yet – not enough money," Nina told her.

Lily digested this information quietly. She didn't feel quite as comfortable here as she did before. She started thinking of her own family – her father, mother, stepmother, stepbrother, and stepsisters. All of them – except for her stepmother and Petunia – had passed away. The two who were left were unwilling to care for her any longer. And what friends did Lily have? They had finally joined Voldemort. Severus had too. Severus – he had made so many promises to her. He had said that he would not go over to the Dark Side. He had said that he would take care of her after Hogwarts. He had said so many things and made so many promises, but had he kept any of them? No, he had abandoned her, just like her family.

"Um, can I have a look around?" Lily asked. They nodded their heads – yes, she could go. So Lily left quietly. As soon as the door was shut, Lily heard a bang of metal. Wondering what had made the sound, Lily walked down passageways until she came to a pair of swinging doors. Pushing her way through them, she heard a male voice cursing.

"_Yo__ soy loco. I am going mad. I do not like this work. __Ay de mi…"_

"Excuse me, but, what's wrong?" Lily said as she looked around the room – it was the kitchen.

"Senorita, I am sorry but we are closed. Come back later."

"You misunderstand me. I'm new here. I just got a job as a waitress. _Yo__ soy nuevo en el trabajo. I was taking a look around, and I heard some shouts, so I came in here. Is something wrong?"_

"Ah, you are the flower? Mamá told me you would come. The Lily Flower, that is you, isn't it?" he said.

"Uh, my name is Lily, but I'm not a flower…" Lily said, slightly confused.

"That is what I said, you are a lily. Are not lilies flowers?"

"They're flowers, but my _name is Lily. __Mi nombre esta Lily."_

"Ah, _si, I understood now. Your Spanish is very good, Lily." (A/N: It probably isn't though, because mine is horrible! I don't even take Spanish at school…)_

"Thanks, but – oh, are you Maurice? I was talking to your mother. Um, could you show me around?" Lily asked.

"_Por__ supuesto, of course I will show you around. Follow me."_

Maurice and Lily went around the restaurant. In the minutes that passed, Lily grew to like him. She thought he was funny, and he tried his best to amuse her. She found out that though he had graduated only two years before Lily had, he was four years older than she was, even though they seemed to be the same age. After Lily was shown around, she heard a voice ring through the halls. It was a sweet, merry voice, that of a young girl. Turning around, Lily saw a girl just a few years younger than she was. This was Ana.

"Are you Lily? I'm Ana," the girl introduced herself. "I'm so happy we'll have more help around here. It is so hard to work without enough waitresses. There are two others, besides Mamá and me, but they don't come very often. They take days off as they please and show off and flirt with the men and altogether they don't do their jobs very well. But you seem nice," Ana said in a rush. Lily noted that her English seemed to be much better than her brother's and her mother's. It must have been because she was still in school or something.

"Ana, hurry up and wash. Senor says he will open. Mamá wants to speak you. Go, now, Ana!" Maurice said to her. He seemed a bit too harsh on his younger sister, Lily thought. She went into Senor Valdez's office and asked him if it was okay if she didn't work that day, but merely watched and helped wash up. He agreed, smiling at her. Just as she was about to leave, he spoke again.

"You remind me of my daughter, Senorita. She too had red hair like yours. Her eyes were dark, though. Yet she was fair, very fair. And her spirit was like yours, too. She wanted to go out and see the world. I told her, you have the smarts to make money, but you are a lady. It is not safe. Your status is not one to permit you to do such things. But she was indignant. She finally left, and went to America. She settled there – had a family. But now… she is gone."

Lily could do nothing but listen. Once more, she was reminded of her family. She couldn't say anything. Lily just turned around and walked slowly through the door. This time, though, she let the tears fall.

*

A/N: I really don't know what to say now, except please review! Sorry if this was a confusing chapter… My mind was going a lot faster than my hands were, so it might not have flowed together all that well.


	2. Black is Back

*

JULY 14, 1984

_Secluded apartment in London_

Twenty-two-year-old Sirius Black was bored – extremely bored. He was lying on his bed – with his head where his feet should be and his feet on his pillow – staring at the ceiling. After graduating from Hogwarts, he and his three best friends – James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew – had all gone their different ways, still keeping in touch, but never meeting.

Remus had decided to go abroad in search for a job. He had badly wanted to work at the Ministry, but the fact that he was a werewolf made every single department reject him immediately. He had moved East to Germany, where the wizarding population was moderate and life for wizards was slow and easy – never rushed like in England.

Peter had decided not to work for a couple of years and instead had wanted to stay with his mother for a few years, as she was supposedly very sick. Sirius hadn't heard much of him, but he had apparently settled down well and was making a small income after a while by doing errands for the Muggles that lived nearby.

James had wanted to get a job at the Ministry at some point of time, but for the moment, he was biding his time and making the most out of his freedom. Of the three, he was the one who kept in touch with Sirius the most. He sent his friend an owl once a week, and vice versa. They two had always been closer to one another than with Remus and Peter, and their friendship was more of that between two brothers than two schoolmates. James had written to Sirius that he was looking for a few jobs in the Muggle community before turning to the Ministry. He "wanted to have some fun before going all 'Sirius'" as he said.

Sirius himself had been shuffling from job to job both in the Wizarding and Muggle community. His first thought had been that of business, so he had looked for a company that was willing to hire someone who was absolutely inexperienced in the line of business. There were no takers. The first job he eventually got was at a garage. Sirius had always loved tinkering around with tools and playing with cars, so when he was hired as a car mechanic he felt his life was set. But when he accidentally slipped in a puddle of oil on the ground and the tools he was carrying hit his boss on the head, he got the pink slip.

A number of other jobs followed his mechanic job – janitor at a local school, shopkeeper at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade, reporter for the Daily Prophet… The list was about a total of seven jobs. But now, Sirius had been fired from his last job – that of a vendor at the cricket stadium.

So, now completely jobless, Sirius was extremely bored. He expected a letter from James to come that day, but James could be unpredictable at times. Just yesterday, he had gotten a letter from Remus saying that he had settled down well in Munich, one of the busier cities of Germany, and had gotten a job at one of the 'treasure-hunting' branches of Gringotts. He worked as one of the accountants there. He had even hinted that he had a girlfriend, though he didn't mention any names.

But what did Sirius care that Remus was happy in Germany with a girlfriend and a high-salary job? He was more concerned about his own situation. He hadn't been able to find a good job for a long time. He had no idea what to do. James had been getting along quite well, even with a minimum wage job, but Sirius was in ruins. He had no friends where he stayed, and when he was out of a job, he spent his whole day either in a bar or at home. He had gotten into the habit of drinking whenever he was sad or angry, and since he was either sad or angry all the time, nearly all his money went to buy himself drinks. He knew he was slowly killing himself by doing it, but he had gotten hooked onto alcohol.

_Just wait till James and Remus find you here, drinking twenty-four seven. They'll yell their heads off at you. No, they won't. They'll help you get a job. But no, they won't even come. Why should they come to see you? They don't care about stupid Sirius Black._

Sirius had become so depressed that he had stopped replying to James' letters. He thought James would then get a hint that he didn't want to talk to anyone anymore and stop sending letters. But James took a different hint – he got the feeling that something was wrong and instead sent more and more letters. But they all remained unopened.

If there was one thing in the world Sirius was thankful for, it was for the one person whom he had left in his life – Liana Matheson. Liana had always thought the world of Sirius, and the two had been happy together for the first two years after they graduated from Hogwarts, but after Sirius took to drinking, both of their lives had turned upside-down. As much as Sirius had tried to push her away and make her find someone else, she insisted on visiting him every single day. He tried to make her think that he didn't appreciate the money she would slip into his pockets every now and then, or the strong coffee she would make him every morning, or the books she would buy for him to read, but Liana knew him too well.

Sirius loved Liana fiercely, but he refused to admit it. But she didn't need words to know what was in Sirius' mind. She could understand his thoughts by just watching him and taking in his actions and expressions. Such was the relationship they shared. But it was slowly deteriorating against their will along with Sirius' health. Liana's worst fear was that the day would come when she would have to learn to live without Sirius. And Sirius' worst fear was that one day Liana would listen to him and leave him.

But that day, Liana hadn't come. There was no smell of brewing coffee, or of the light perfume that she wore. The curtains hadn't been drawn, and there was no sunlight poring into his room. There were no flowers on the table, and no books on the dresser. The clothes that Sirius himself had left in a heap on the floor hadn't been folded neatly and kept away. In fact, the one-bedroom flat in which Sirius lived was the same way in which he had left it last night. Liana hadn't come.

While staring up at the ceiling, tears threatened to spill out of Sirius' eyes. He let them. He had nothing better to do, anyway. His stock of drink was finished and he didn't feel like going out to buy more. He absent-mindedly swung the bottle in his hand. He shut his eyes as the tears rolled down his cheek and fell on the bedspread. He jerked them open again and smashed the glass bottle onto his other hand.

"Why – why did this all have to happen to me?" he cried, staring at his bleeding hand.

*

"James, you've got to do something about Sirius. His condition's getting worse every day. He won't even let me bring in a doctor to check him up. James, you're the only one who can make him see reason."

James had been getting increasingly worried about Sirius, and had therefore owled Liana to ask her what had happened. Liana, glad to tell all her troubles to someone she could trust, poured out the whole story of the last five years to him. They had decided to meet at a coffee shop in London and discuss what to do. Liana had been so anxious to meet James and get all their problems solved that she hadn't even dropped by at Sirius' to leave a note to say she would come late.

"Liana, I don't think you should worry. The Sirius I remember could take care of himself fairly well. The only thing that's ailing him, from what I see, is that he's lonely. Personally, I don't blame him. I've felt pretty down and out too, when I think back on our Hogwarts days. Remus is in Germany, Peter's gone to Wales to live with his mum, and Sirius is doing his own thing. But trust me, Liana. If you just give him some more company, he'll be able to take care of himself," James said positively.

"Maybe he can in normal situations, but not when he's half drunk!" Liana choked. "The Sirius _you remember is long gone, James. He's completely ruined himself. He can't get a damn job anywhere, and whatever money I bring in for him he spends on drinks. He's gotten fired for about the seventh or eighth time yesterday, and I don't know where he's going to look next. It's all I can do to pay his rent for him and do his shopping and things, what with my own job and housework."_

James took a sip of his coffee and leaned forward. He seemed to be contemplating what to say next. "Liana, don't take this in the wrong way, but have you ever seriously considered moving in with him, at least until he's back on his own two feet?"

Liana looked at him, unable to decide whether James was being serious or not. "James, what would we achieve by having me move in with him?"

"Well, for one, you wouldn't have to Apparate every time you want to see him. You'll be there to keep an eye on him nearly all the time, and he'll be happier knowing that you'll be there for him a lot more. It'll also be easier on you too. You won't have to do double the housework, and you'll only have to pay half the rent."

Liana sighed and shook her head slightly. "James, it isn't possible to move in with him. His apartment is the tiniest of things. Believe me, I've thought of it before, but it isn't possible. And he's too possessive to let me take him to my place. I've brought it up so many times, but he just refuses to listen. This is why I thought you should be able to help."

"Liana, I'll do my best. If you're not going to, then, well, I thought since I'm up in London now, I might as well stay a while. I can stay with him for a week or two until you're ready to take him."

"That would be a big help, James," Liana said, forcing a smile. "But now, I think I should go. I'll take you to his place, since I have to go anyway. He'll be wondering why his coffee isn't ready."

"You know, you might want to cut down on the money you're giving him. If he can't afford the drinks, he won't buy them," James suggested as he paid the bill for the coffee and walked towards Liana's car.

"Oh, you don't know Sirius. He'll get his drink one way or another."

The two got into the car and Liana started the ignition and drove away. Liana constantly seemed on the verge of tears, so James tried to keep the mood lively by telling her about his job and the people he'd met, but it just seemed to upset her more.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Liana. I'm just trying to cheer you up, but I'm making you feel worse," he said, shrugging.

"Don't worry about me, James. Just having you here is good enough for me."

A few minutes elapsed without any talking, but finally, James spoke, curiosity getting the better of him.

"What's that on your finger, Liana?" he asked her.

"Oh, this, oh, it's the ring Sirius gave me in – at the end of school – uh, after seventh year," she said slowly.

"You still have it? I should have thought that would make Sirius happy."

Liana sniffed and said, "Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to take it off. It won't budge now. And I think it makes him feel worse to see that I still have it. He keeps telling me to move on and find someone else. I keep telling him that if I ever search I'll just end up on his doorstep again."

"So, what job did you find?" James asked jovially, trying to change the topic.

"I got a job as a reporter for the Daily Prophet. It doesn't pay much, but it's enough to get what we need. Sirius was making a bit of money now and then, so I used to spend it on books whenever I could get at it. He reads a bit whenever I'm there because he knows I hate to see him drink. But he hits the bottles as soon as I leave. We have some money in Gringotts if it comes to the worst, and I opened an account in one of the Muggle banks nearby for the checks that Sirius got from the Muggles who hired him. We've got about a hundred pounds together here, and at Gringotts, I've got quite a bit. But I don't know about Sirius. He's never let me check his vault."

In a couple more minutes, they had reached the apartment. Liana dropped James outside saying she would park the car and come back. She handed him the key.

"It's the one on top and all the way to the right – 306. When Sirius first got it he said that if he has to live in a small apartment he might as well live in one with a good view."

She sped off into the parking lot at the back while James jogged up the stairs till he reached the third floor. Turning right he saw four oak doors.

_Okay, all the way to the right – but there are four of them. No, two – two of them are on the sides. She wouldn't mean those. Looks like I'll just have to guess._

James walked up to the two doors and inspected each of them. Remembering that he had the key with him, he pulled it out and pushed it into the keyhole of the first door. A wave of relief washed over him as he heard a click when the key turned in the locked. He pushed the door and it swung open with a creak.

The place was in a mess. Beer bottles were stacked in a corner, and the TV in the corner had a squashed soda can on top. There were clothes – undoubtedly Sirius' – lying on the floor in a heap. But nevertheless, James couldn't help feeling that his apartment, though small was more or less a nice, livable one.

All the walls had been painted a light, creamy beige color. The furniture was simple and modern – a small olive green couch and a matching armchair were in the living room. A wooden coffee table stood between them, and on it was an open book. There was a small vase that held wilted flowers. The kitchen was extremely small, but the manner in which the cabinets were arranged made it so that no space was wasted. There was a small extension like a table above which there were more cabinets. Through the space in between, one could look into the living room.

James picked his way through the rooms until he found a closed door. He reached out for the handle, but Liana, who had come up, put her hand on his arm to stop him.

"No, James, it's better not to go and see Sirius yet. For all you know, he might still be asleep – if he got any, that is," Liana said softly. "I'll just go in and – well, do what I normally do," she said dully.

James retreated into the living room and picked up the book that was lying on the table and forced himself to read it. But all his attention was fixed on listening to what happened.

Liana pushed the bedroom door open softly. Unlike the main door, this one didn't creak. She went in, pushed the curtains apart slowly, and turned around, taking in the room. She saw that Sirius was awake and smiled at him. He didn't smile back. She was about to pick up his clothes from the floor but he spoke, and she stopped.

"You didn't come this morning. Where were you?"

"Sirius, I – that is, the people at the Daily Prophet, they wanted me to come early today. I was running late so I didn't drop by to tell you. I'm sorry if you're upset," she lied, and reached down for the clothes again.

"No, leave them there. I like them on the floor," he said.

Liana picked them up anyway, and walked out of the room. She didn't go into the living room however. Instead, she walked into a small room off the side and dumped them into a basket there. She went into the kitchen and started the coffee maker, ignoring James completely. He tried not to take notice of her, but he couldn't help follow her movements with his eyes until she had walked back into the bedroom.

"Liana… why do you lie to me?" he said, shaking his head at her.

"Who said I was lying?" she said quickly, rounding on him.

"You weren't at work today. You were somewhere else. You were with someone, hmm?" he asked.

"Sirius, I told you –"

"And I told you to leave me alone. Who'd you bring with you, Liana – your new friend?" he asked her.

"No, I brought _your friend, so that he can make you see reason. James, come here," she said with a slight tone of impatience in her voice._

"Liana, Liana, Liana – why do you bother to do such things? Come – come and sit here, next to me," he said to her, patting the bed.

"Oh my God, Sirius, what happened to your hand?" she asked, suddenly filled with worry as she caught sight of his bleeding hand. She rushed over to him and picked up his hand, tracing the cuts with her finger.

"I got angry with myself. I've been a bad boy, so I had to be punished. You weren't there to punish me, so I did it myself."

"Sirius, what are you talking about? James – oh, can you hand me the antiseptic? It's in my purse."

"James, so you really have come, eh?" Sirius called.

"I came on my own. You weren't answering my letters, so I got worried," James answered as he handed the bottle to Liana, along with a washcloth.

Liana washed the blood off of his hand with the cloth, and carefully put the antiseptic on his hand where it had been cut. Sirius jerked a little when she put it on. The antiseptic stung him slightly, and he couldn't bear the pain anymore than he was able to as a child.

Liana smiled affectionately at him. "You're such a child, Sirius. You still can't hold still when I put this on you."

"You don't have to put it on. I can do without."

"It'll get infected if I don't. You know that. James, can you hand me the bandages from the shelf over there?"

James did as he had been told, but he couldn't help but feel that no matter how hard up they were, the relationship that Sirius and Liana shared hadn't changed a bit. He only wished that it would stay that way.

"Here you go, Liana. Uh, I'll just wait in the living room, shall I?" he said and walked out.

"There you go. You're alright now. Mind you, if you go swinging any more bottles you won't be."

"Liana, why do you do so much for me? I don't need it. I don't deserve it," Sirius answered, lifting the hand that wasn't covered in bandages to stroke her cheek.

"Sirius, you know the answer to that," Liana said, looking away.

"You're scared to look me in the eye. Look at me, Liana. I said _look at me!" he yelled._

Liana gasped and raised her eyes to look at him. His blue eyes pierced her soft hazel ones. Liana tried to read the expression in them, but for the first time in her life, she found herself at a loss. Unable to bear it, she looked away again.

"Sirius, you've changed. You're not the playful, mischievous boy I used to know. You're different. You've become a drinker, a job-shifter – you're not the Sirius I used to think so much of."

"You're worried about me."

"Of course I'm worried about you! Who wouldn't be? Even James is worried. And I'm sure that if Remus knew too, he'd be just as worried."

"Remus Lupin… stupid bloody git – too wrapped up in his own affairs to even bother writing a letter to me. After everything I did to help him out…"

"Sirius, stop it," Liana said, getting up from the bed hurriedly. "I don't get you. You make promises that you don't keep. You do things you say you'll never do. And then – you make other people do things they never thought they'd do." Liana turned away from him and started to walk out of the room.

"You love me so much, don't you? Poor Liana, she gives out love to the whole world, but no one gives her love back – except for me," Sirius said slowly, staring at the bedspread.

Liana didn't turn around, but instead shut her eyes. The tears that had been threatening to fall for the last three years finally made their escape and trickled down her cheek. When she finally turned back around to face Sirius, he was sitting on the bed in the same pose, only with his arm stretched out towards her. Suddenly weeping, she ran to him and wrapped her hands around his neck. As she sobbed into his shoulder, he ran his hand down her back, kissing her head lightly.

"Stop drinking, Sirius. Please, for my sake, forget about it. Just think about what you're going to do with your future. You have a whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on drink. Leave your drinking habits behind, Sirius."

"Will you leave me?"

"Sirius –"

"Can you leave me? You can't, can you? In that way, I can't stop drinking. It's all I have left. Now, it's just me and my drinks."

"And what about me – I just go down the drain, do I? Forgotten, tossed aside just like an empty bottle, that's my destiny, is it?" Liana retaliated.

"Liana…"

"Sirius, look at this," Liana said, showing him the ring on her finger, the one James had pointed out to her while they had been driving.

"That's the ring," Sirius choked, "that I gave you when we graduated."

"And I still have it. Do you have any idea why?"

"Because it won't come off your finger, that's why it's still there. If it would, you'd have thrown it in the trash a couple years ago."

"Sirius Black I –" Liana began, but Sirius interrupted.

"Liana Black I –" he said, and stopped.

"Sirius, what –"

"The ring was supposed to be for that. It's just that I didn't have the nerve to ask you then. And five years have gone by since. Well, it wasn't really for that, just to tell you that I would in a couple of years. But I haven't, yet. I would've, but I took to drink instead. I didn't think you'd want to marry a job-shifter. I should've realized you wouldn't have wanted to marry a drunkard either,"

"Sirius, calm down, please. If you'd have told me something – anything – I would've –"

"You would've said no."

"Sirius, why are you so pessimistic?" Liana asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't have time to be your English teacher. But why are you always so insulting to yourself and to everything around you?" she asked again.

"The same reason why everything around me always insults me…"

"Sirius please stop it! You're ruining yourself by all this. You're purposely bungling up your jobs so that you can stay at home and laze around. You're purposely drinking more and more so you can slowly kill yourself. You want everyone to pity you and feel sorry for you. Well, that's happened, so I hope you're happy," Liana shouted.

She prepared to walk out of the room again, but when she got to the door, she met up with James. She backed away slowly. When Sirius caught sight of James, he jumped off the bed quickly.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt you guys, but I just heard some shouts so I came to see what was going on," James said looking from one to another.

"Oh, I just suggested that since you're over, well, we haven't seen each other in five years so I thought I'd treat you to dinner someplace tonight. Liana just thought I wouldn't be fit, but I feel fine now. We were just discussing – a little loudly, maybe – where we should go. I was thinking of a Mexican restaurant that had opened recently, but she insisted that your favorite food was Italian. I'm right, aren't I?" Sirius said in a rush, making Liana just shake her head and glare at him.

"Uh, yeah – you are. Um, I guess we could go, now. Maybe Liana can show me around the city a bit till then," James said, slightly confused at Sirius' sudden enthusiasm. He walked out slowly, still puzzling over Sirius sudden change.

"Sirius, why do you even suggest such things?" Liana asked wearily.

"I suggested it so that you can celebrate."

"What's there to celebrate?" she said, rolling her eyes.

"I promise you that I'll stop."

"What'll you stop?" Liana said, making sure that he promised the right thing.

"I promise you that I'll stop drinking if –"

"You really will, honest?" she asked, still not believing that her begging hadn't been in vain after all.

"There is an 'if', you know."

"Okay, go ahead and finish," she said dully.

"I promise you that I'll stop drinking if you marry me," he said, stroking her cheek once more.

Lifting up her hand to pull his hand down, she said, "You really promise all that?"

"But in case you don't want to wait another couple of years, you're still allowed to look for someone else," Sirius added.

"Sirius…" she whined, sitting next to him and placing her head on his shoulder.

"Okay, maybe I walked in at a wrong time…" James said, turning around and starting to walk away. "I just wanted to ask when you guys were coming…"

Liana hurriedly got up, and blushing furiously, she walked out of the room.

"You know, I don't think she really needed me to visit. She seems to have made you stop without me doing much."

"You've been listening?" Sirius asked, scowling.

"No, I just have sharp hearing."

"James, you haven't changed a bit, you know that?"

"And you've changed a lot, you know that?"

"Yeah, but what can I say? After-school-life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would."

"You haven't ever thought of – well, you know what the four of us were thinking about in fifth year…"

"I thought about it, really, I did. But I didn't think I'd be able to without you and Moony."

"Have you heard from him at all?" James asked again.

"I got an owl from him yesterday. He's working at the treasure branch of Gringotts in Munich. He's got himself a girlfriend by the looks of it – which just leaves you out, Prongs."

"Shut up, Padfoot."

"Yes, sir…"

"Sirius – James – are you two coming or do I have to drag you by the ears? Hurry up, will you?" Liana called from the living room, swinging the car keys around her finger.

"Yes, ma'am!" they answered together.

*


	3. Lily meets James

*

JULY 14, 1984

_Muchachos __Restaurant_

Sirius rang the little bell at the front desk, waiting for someone to appear. James was standing behind him, admiring the furnishings of the newly opened restaurant. Liana was hanging on to his arm, too happy to speak.

In a few minutes, a tall redhead walked in, and upon sighting Sirius and Liana, grinned happily.

"Mr. Black, you're back! I was wondering when I'd be seeing you again. You certainly look a lot better today than you did the last time I saw you. Hi, Liana, I hope you're fine too?"

"Lily, we're all fine! Forget the formalities; we don't need them. Now, can you get us a table for three?"

"Three – have you brought a friend with you?" Lily asked, having not spotted James at the back.

"Yeah, I daresay you've met him. James, this is Liliane Evans – you know her, don't you? She was at school with us, and now she's working here."

It was a slightly tense moment. Lily recalled the last time they had met. It had been the day she was supposed to get her job, and their brief meeting at the road crossing hadn't been the happiest of reunions. He had insulted her, and walked off. Well, now, she couldn't bother bringing it up again. She just smiled at him.

"Oh, Mr. Potter and I have met – about three years ago, quite by accident, I assure you. Well, now, I'll get your table ready, if you'll just follow me, please."

Lily walked through the hallways, her red heels clicking against the floor with every step she took. The white dress she was wearing was lined with red stripes and her green embroidered apron was tied neatly around her waist. She had left her loose, and all in all, she looked a model waitress.

"James, you never told me that you'd met Lily, before. What were you doing in London? You ought to have seen me," Sirius whispered as the three followed Lily to their table.

"It wasn't exactly what I'd call a meeting. I just had to go to Gringotts, and I met her on the way to the Leaky Cauldron at the road crossing. We walked into each other, to tell you the truth. She kept trying to get a conversation up so I just basically told her to buzz off and I went on my way. We were holding up the traffic, anyway," James said.

"You're making it sound as though you didn't want to talk because it was Lily, and not because you had to go somewhere," Liana said slowly.

"So, what if that was the reason? I reckon I was pretty rude, but you would've been too, Sirius. Don't you remember what House she was in? I guess that's why I was a little prejudiced against her. I don't regret it, and I'm not about to apologize either," James said shortly.

Lily walked up to a corner table by the window. Turning around, she motioned towards the table and placed a menu at each place. Liana smiled at her as the three sat down. James, eager to avoid any conversation, picked up his menu and pretended to be reading it.

"So, do any of you want something to drink – except for Mr. Mr. Sirius, that is," Lily asked, grinning.

"Miss Evans, isn't it against your rules of etiquette to exempt any of us from ordering what we want?" Sirius asked in a stern voice that made Lily laugh.

"Isn't it against the rules that Miss Matheson has set for you to drink too many alcoholic beverages?" Lily asked, mocking him.

"Hey, I'm a free man, and I'm over twenty-one. But, either way, I've promised Liana that I won't drink anymore."

"Well, we'll see how long this promise of yours remains unbroken, then, shall we? Liana, you don't want anything, do you?"

"No, I'm all set, thanks," she answered.

"Um, will you have something, Mr. –" Lily started.

"You can call me James. And no, I don't drink alcohol," James said without looking up.

"Well, then, I'll be back in a few minutes when you're ready to order, okay?"

Lily prepared to walk away, but Sirius called her back.

"Come on, Lily. Get yourself a drink and sit with us. It's a Wednesday night. You can't possibly be busy now," he said.

"Oh, no, we have a big group of people coming in later this evening. There's a whole crowd coming from one of the new banks that've opened up near here. I couldn't possibly –"

"Lily, don't bother refusing. You're terrible at making excuses. Now sit down."

While Sirius was busy trying to make Lily accept his offer, Liana was busy watching James. He had changed over from pretending to read the menu to hiding behind it. He was turning slightly red, and Liana kept shooting glances his way. When he finally gave up using the menu as a shield, he looked Liana in the eye. When he finally realized what she was trying to tell him, he shook his head and sighed.

"Lily, just sit down. You should know better than to refuse an invitation from Sirius," James said, avoiding eye contact.

Lily – surprised that he had actually asked her to join them –spent a moment or two trying to fathom why he had requested her presence, and then smiled at Sirius and Liana.

"Thanks – uh, I'll just get an extra chair, then. And I'll have to tell Ana that I'm not going to be on duty for a while. I'll be half a second," Lily said, turning around.

"Lily, you can just sit here. This _is a table for four, after all," Liana said slowly._

Lily looked back at her, a questioning look in her eyes. But she waved her thoughts off and said, "I'll have to tell Ana anyway. And I'll also have to change out of my uniform. I do have to follow the rules, you know."

She walked away, her dress swishing against her legs. As soon as she turned the corner, James spoke up again.

"What is with you guys?"

"What is with us? Liana, do you have any idea?" Sirius asked the woman at his side.

"Padfoot, will you please be serious for just a second?" James begged.

"I'm always Sirius."

"Sirius, please…" Liana said, tired of his jokes.

"Okay, fine – if you say so I will. But there's nothing up, James. Why should anything be up? What possibly could be up?"

"Never mind, it's useless trying to get anything out of you. Just tell me something, how did _you meet Lily?"_

"We met her here. And Liana here has some long connection with her. She's her aunt's long lost cousin's son-in-law's niece's godfather's best friend's girlfriend or something or other like that," Sirius said.

"You dope, she's my brother-in-law's best friend's cousin's friend – or girlfriend or something," Liana corrected.

"Hey, I got the girlfriend part right. You ought to give me credit for that," Sirius said, shrugging.

"I guess it figures," James piped up, "that that's the _only_ part that you got right, eh Sirius?"

"Shut it, you."

"James, tell us about you. What've you been doing lately? This stupid git's not opened any of your letters, and he won't let me either," Liana said. 

James set his menu down and sat back in his seat, apparently preparing himself to tell a long tale.

"Well, first I thought of going abroad like Moony, so I decided to check out the Western Continents a bit. It was a big mistake; I'll tell you that much. The people out there are more interested in money and politics than anything else. Okay, so you've got your sports and your schools and all that stuff, but it's too boring for me. Even the local newspaper – something called The Spellbound Times – stupid name, but anyway, it's boring as hell," James said with displeasure.

"Is it really all that terrible? Don't you have any joke shops, or candy stores, or bars or anything like that?" Sirius asked, scandalized.

"Oh, yeah – I mean, if there's one thing you have it is sweets and candy all over the place. You'd think they're the ones who invented anything with sugar in it. And bars – you'll probably find at least one in every city," James concluded.

"What about joke shops? Don't they have anything like Zonko's?" Sirius asked again.

"Honestly, anyone would think you're an overgrown fifteen-year-old, the way you're pestering him about games and sweetshops," Liana put in, giggling.

"And anyone who hears you laugh would think you're a child, too."

"Oh, shut up. James, please continue," Liana said, motioning for him to continue before Sirius said anything else.

"Well, after the States, I came back to Britain, but I decided to go down to Wales," James went on.

"Wasn't Pete staying down there? Something came up, right? His mum got sick or something. I never thought he was that fond of her, but there you have it. People can change when facing serious situations," Sirius said casually.

Liana looked at him suddenly. _How true…_ she thought. She wasn't sure why, but she felt her attachment to Sirius changing into something else. She wasn't sure if the reason she still waited on him hand and foot was just because of habit or if she really did feel the same way for him. _Oh, you're getting stupid ideas. Snap out of it, girl, or else you'll find yourself on the wrong street._

"Yeah, well, anyway, I planned on seeing him sometime, but when I went down to his mum's place, and well, it was kind of strange, really…" James trailed off.

"What's strange?" Liana asked, her eyebrows rising slightly.

"Well, he wasn't there. He just wasn't there. I mean, I'd understand if he had transformed or something, or went out, but – I don't know. It seemed as though he hadn't been to see his mother at all. She was there, and I'll tell you she was live and kicking all right. She seemed confused when I asked about Peter. She said he hadn't written or visited since the summer of sixth year," James said shrugging.

His tale was disrupted by Lily's arrival again. She had changed into a casual forest-green top and a knee-length denim skirt. The bracelet, which she usually wore, was once more hanging on her wrist, and she had taken the ribbon out of her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders. James caught himself looking at her – as in not just seeing her, but really looking _at_ her.

He had never bothered to really see how she looked, or what she looked good in. he had just taken her presence for granted as one of the Slytherins whose sole purpose of living was to loathe all Gryffindors. But now that they had graduated and Sirius was forcing him to be friendly, he saw that she was quite pretty – for a Slytherin. _No, I think she's prettier than a lot of girls I've seen – maybe even that Ravenclaw chick that had Remus twisted around her finger. But I can't let that make me get carried away. It remains to be seen what she's really like. Beauty _is_ only skin-deep, after all._

"Hey, oh, I'm sorry if I'd interrupted any story-telling that's been going on. You can keep going. But, well, are you guys ready to order?" Lily asked, pulling out her notebook from behind her.

"Lily, come on! You're our guest today – not a waitress," Sirius moaned.

"It's kind of strange to be a guest at your own workplace, you know," Lily said, slightly bemused.

"Never mind that; just sit down. You might want to scoot over, James," Liana said, turning to him.

James shifted over until he was right next to the window. Lily noticed this, but decided that it would be better to keep her mouth shut. She sat down shyly on the very edge of the seat. It seemed as though the two were trying to keep as far away from one another as possible – which, of course, was indeed the case. Sirius rolled his eyes at James.

"Come on, Lily. James doesn't bite. And even if he does, it's only within a three-centimeter radius. You don't have to sit two feet away from him," Sirius said. Liana shook her head silently.

Lily turned slightly pink, but shifted over a little nevertheless, and James followed suit. But both refused to look at one another.

James decided to pick up the conversation where he had left off. "Okay, so where was I? Oh, right – what did I do after Peter's place?"

"Um, sorry to interrupt again, but whom is Peter?" Lily asked.

"He's another one of our friends from Hogwarts. Anyway, I reckoned that Peter had probably just forgotten that he was meant to go there and ended up in Germany with Remus or something like that so I didn't think much of it. So, I go and meet up with my folks again in York and believe it or not they're going girl-hunting," James said disgusted.

Liana grinned up at him and Sirius slapped the table, laughing. Even Lily smiled a little.

"What's so funny about that?" James asked, annoyed.

"Liana, can you picture James with a steady girlfriend?" Sirius asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Sirius, oh, stop it, Siri, you're embarrassing all of us. Can't you keep shut?" Liana said, even though she herself was trying to keep from bursting out like Sirius.

"Oh, shut it, you two. It's my mum who's looking for girls, not me!" James said exasperatedly. (A/N: I like using big words, don't you? Not – I hate them, but I couldn't find any other adjective to use…) "No, Sirius, I didn't mean it that way. So don't even get started…" James added quickly.

"So, has your mum found anyone, yet?" Sirius asked solemnly; though, his eyes were twinkling the way they did only when he had an idea brewing in his head.

"No – thank goodness, she hasn't. I mean, as soon as I found out I tried to convince her not to, but when that didn't work I just left. I didn't think I'd be able to put up with her showing me pictures of all her friends' daughters for more than two days. Sirius, don't try setting me up, please."

Sirius had been mentally scanning all the girls he knew from Hogwarts, but James' sudden warning had brought him back down to earth quite suddenly.

"Hmm – oh, no, why would I ever do a thing like that?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Why would you ever not do a thing like that? Well, anyway, after I left home I came back to London for a week or two to pick up some things in Diagon Alley and then I stayed for a bit in Hogsmeade. I was thinking of asking Dumbledore if I could take up the role of Transfiguration professor, but McGonagall's still around. By the looks of it, she's going to be around for a long time," James said with a wide grin. "It's hard to believe, but there you have it."

 "What do you mean by that?" asked Lily suddenly.

"Oh, never mind – it's an inside joke. Mind you, it's long and old so you probably won't get anything out of hearing it," Sirius said, waving it off. Liana asked him too, for she was as much in the dark as Lily was, but after noticing that they both remained silent, she gave it up.

"So, you were saying?" Sirius said, gesturing for James to continue.

"Well, after seeing Dumbledore – he, well, I don't know how to explain this. I'm still not very sure if he meant what he said. I told you in my letters a couple of times that I was working with Muggles – well, that was true, but not completely…" James trailed off.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, suddenly intrigued. Liana leaned forward cautiously. Lily just stared at her hands, which were twisting about uncomfortably in her lap.

"Well, I'm sure you've heard of the things the _Prophet's been saying lately, correct? That is to say, the things about those on the Dark Side – you know, Voldemort and all the, uh, Death Eaters?" James said as he lowered his voice._

As Liana and Sirius nodded slowly, Lily shivered involuntarily. She had refrained from thinking of Death Eaters and Voldemort ever since she had graduated from Hogwarts. She didn't think she could bare the pain of thinking of Severus ever again, especially if she didn't know whether he was alive or dead. She had stuck to just trying to forget. Now, as James spoke, she tried to shut out his voice as much as possible.

"Well, they're saying that he's been steadily gaining power for the last few years. He's out to do – something – rather dangerous, and the Ministry is getting really worried. Some of the Ministry officials in the Department of Futuristic Criminal Acts – you know, the FCA – are saying that his most important crime is yet to come. But – I don't know, Dumbledore was saying that we're supposed to pray that it does come – that it'll be a good thing. Personally, I just believe that it's all a load of shit."

"Well, what did Dumbledore ask you?" Liana asked softly.

"He asked me to – well, it's supposed to be on behalf of Barty Crouch. He's the Head of the Department of something or other related to crime. I can't remember exactly. Well, anyway, he wants me to join the Ministry as a Hit-Wizard," James said. When no one said anything, he continued, "Well, he gave me the option of either a Hit-Wizard or an Auror. I still haven't decided. But, you understand why they're asking, don't you? There are supposedly two new wizards who've joined recently. You know who I'm talking about, Sirius. It's Snape and Caraway."

Lily was in shock. How did James know about Severus and Sidney? Lily couldn't help it. She looked up at him slowly. Her emerald eyes were threatening to fill up with tears. 

_But maybe – just maybe – he knows something about them. Maybe he knows where Sev is. Maybe he knows whether or not those two are alive or not. Maybe – just maybe – he can help me help them stay alive and come back._

Lily listened carefully from that point on. She learnt of all the people the Death Eaters had tortured or killed after Snape and Caraway had joined – the Prewetts, the Longbottoms, the Mitchells, and a number of other couples and families. Apparently, Caraway was one of Voldemort's most favored Death Eaters; he shared this title with another Slytherin from before their time by the name of Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy had graduated from Hogwarts from before Lily had even joined.

_Well, at least Caraway is getting the attention he always wanted. I just hope they're both okay__._

"You know, they say that something happened to Snape, though; he's disappeared or something. At least, that's what I heard. It's possible they've just sent him on some top-secret mission or whatnot. Caraway's been hurt in a Ministry ambush, though; that much I know for sure," James said. He didn't realize that though he was lessening Liana's and Sirius' fears, he was adding to Lily's worries.

Lily looked at the clock that was hanging on the far wall. It was ten-fifteen. The restaurant closed at eleven, even though the bar was open until one in the morning. _Oh, only forty-five more minutes – I'd better get back in the kitchen and see how Ana's doing…_

"Oh, I'm sorry to leave you three, but I'd better go and see how everyone's doing. They're probably missing me in the kitchen. Well, it's been nice talking to you, Mr. Potter," she said, giving him a watery smile.

"Oh – yeah – bye – and by the way, it's _James – not Mr. Potter," he said, giving her an unexpected smile._

Lily returned it. There was something about the way Lily smiled that couldn't be reproduced by anyone else. When she smiled, it was not just her mouth, but her eyes twinkled and her smiles came straight from her heart. Perhaps, this was the reason why James felt his stomach suddenly disappear. He looked back at Sirius as she walked away, but he couldn't keep those emerald-green eyes from swimming in front of his face…

"James, are you okay? Maybe we should leave too…" Liana asked suddenly.

"Oh, no – I'm fine, really. I was just thinking – I haven't told Dumbledore anything – or the Ministry. I'd probably get back to them soon."

"What – you're leaving, already?" Sirius said, jumping up.

"No, I'll be hanging around for another week. I just guess I'd go back to the hotel if I'm going to be up early enough tomorrow morning to meet Crouch," James said, shrugging his shoulders.

He walked off before the other two could stop him. They sighed and gathered up their stuff. There was no point staying now that James was gone.

*

Lily fumbled with her keys. For some reason, she couldn't get the little silver one to fit into the lock of her apartment. She swore at them, kicked the door – she even tried threw them at the wall – though she hadn't expected that to get them to work – but to no avail. 

"Oh, get open you freaking door! This isn't the time to stay shut!" she yelled.

Then, she was struck with a novel idea. She had a wand. She could _magic it open. She pulled her wand out after making sure the coast was clear. As she muttered the unlocking charm, she heard a soft click as the door swung open. She let out a sigh of relief. She walked in and shut it behind her._

Now that she was confined in her own space, she felt everything that had been building up inside her burst out. Her shining eyes gave way to tears, and she let out a gasp as they rolled down her flushed cheeks. Not wanting to have her neighbors walk in to see what she was up to, she ran into her bedroom and collapsed on her bed.

"Severus – why did you have to go? Oh, Severus…"

*


	4. Severus Snape

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out, but I was kind of at a loss at what to write! I mean, I know my whole plot and how the story's going to turn out, but I just don't know how to _get there in the first place… Go ahead and call me an awful author – I am!_

*

_"Lily, are you up yet, honey?" called a soft voice._

_It was a familiar voice, but it was that of a man. Lily smiled to herself and pretended to be asleep. She slid down under the covers of her bed so that only the top of her auburn hair was visible._

_"Lily, oh, come on, Lily! I know that game." There was a pause, and then, "I say, you aren't really__ asleep, are you?"_

_Lily heard the man's footsteps as he walked around the bed to the side where she was sleeping. He must have stooped down because she could feel his breath on her forehead, where it was visible. She braced herself, and sure enough, he lifted the covers off of her face. She resisted the temptation to open her eyes. She felt his warm hand on her cheek, and she lifted her hand to touch his. She smiled once more. He leaned forward some more, and with a swift movement, the distance between their lips was reduced to nothing, and he kissed her, sending a tingling warmth through her body._

_Lily opened her eyes, and smiled up at him. She pulled back slowly and reluctantly. It was James Potter. Then, in a moment, the figure transformed and it was no longer James in front of her; it was Severus. She let out a gasp of horror which no one could hear. He cackled, and pointed at her, laughing. Then, there was a blinding white light and he disappeared. In his place stood Lord Voldemort, his wand pointed at her._

_"Thank you, Mudblood. Thank you, for listening to Snape – for bringing me the one person I wanted more than anything else – James Potter…"_

_He swished his cloak and Lily saw the dead body of James on the ground. She let out a scream of terror and in a flash, the scenario dissolved around her, until she was lost in a world of blackness – falling… falling… falling…_

*

Lily sat up panting and sweating. She didn't know what had possibly possessed her to have a dream like that. She bounded out of bed and went into the bathroom. She turned the faucet on and splashed her face with water. She looked up in the mirror, at her twenty-two-year-old self. Her flyaway red hair was tangled and her emerald eyes were surrounded by red. Her head was pounding. She reached in the cupboard next to the sink and pulled out some Muggle medicine. She found that it invariable worked better for her than spells and charms.

"Damn it, why couldn't it have been a weekend?" she muttered to herself as she struggled to get a few pills out of the bottle.

She accidentally knocked the bottle out of her own hands, and the pills went flying all over the floor. She cursed and went down on her knees. As she picked the pills up, she was struck with a novel idea. Carefully, she picked up those that had not yet broken and placed them aside. The rest she threw away. What did it matter that the label around the neck of the bottle said not to take more than two every four hours? Lily carefully picked up all the pills and shoved them in her mouth, swallowing them swiftly with a glass of water.

Gasping, she set down the glass hard on her bedside table. It broke. She cursed again, but couldn't be bothered to clean up, for a sudden drowsiness had overcome her. She staggered back towards her bed to lie down. She was out cold before her head hit the pillow.

*

"Lily, wake up! Oh, damn it, Lily, wake up already! Jeez, what have you done to yourself! Lily, wake up!"

Lily heard the voice yelling at her, but only barely. It was too far away, coming from a world that she could not enter. She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt too heavy. She tried to open her mouth, but instead of words, blood gushed out.

"Jeez, Lily, what's happened to you? You're spitting out blood, Lily. What have you done?"

The man talking to her walked into her bathroom and brought some water. He sprinkled a little on her face, but when that didn't work, he dumped the whole lot of it on her. She sat up, coughing and spluttering. Once more, she regurgitated blood onto her white quilt.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

Lily opened her eyes, waiting a moment for everything to come into focus. But when it did, she had pinch herself and blink again and again to make sure that she wasn't asleep. She reached out for the man's face, and found her touching it – he was real.

"Severus, is it really you – _Severus Snape?"_

"Lils, it's me. Were you expecting someone else? Lily, what've you done to yourself? Here, lay back down. You're sick or something – what did you do?"

"I had a headache so I took some pills. That's all," Lily said, looking down as she backed up against the headboard of her bed.

"Some, or did you take more than was required in a deliberate attempt to kill yourself, hmm?" he asked, bringing her a glass of water.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. But what are you doing here?"

Severus gave a deep sigh as he handed her the glass. She took it reluctantly but drank it down quickly, and set it down on the table. This time, she took care not to break it. Severus looked up at her. He brought his hand to her face and brushed a stray hair out of her face.

"You have to promise not to be angry. I did what I did because I thought it was for the best. I thought I was doing the right thing. I've learnt from my mistakes, now. What's happened has happened, and I can't change it. But I can take care to plan my future, now."

"Sev, what's this all about?" Lily asked, getting worried.

She was still spewing up blood, but the water had helped – and so had the fact that Severus was finally back. He had helped her more than he would ever know.

"I went to the Dark Lord. You know I did. I went with Caraway, but God knows what happened to him. I never saw him after that. Some say he was killed in a Ministry attack. I don't know what the truth is. But I do know that I'm never going back there again. Lily, to tell you the plain and simple truth, I became a Death Eater. I've still got that ruddy Dark Mark on my arm – you can see it if you want. But I was caught in a Ministry attack and they tried me and everything, and they said I was free to go."

"What – they let you go, even though you'd been a Death Eater?" Lily asked, shocked.

"They didn't let me go without a price. I did have to spend two months in Azkaban. Though, that was just because there was no where else to keep me while everyone was debating what to do with me. And, well, I wasn't really let free – Dumbledore, remember him? He offered me a job – he said he'd give me a second chance. I'm a teacher, now, Lily. Can you believe it? Me, Severus Snape, no – Professor Snape, Potions Master of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…"

"You think this is all some kind of a joke, don't you, Sev?" Lily said suddenly.

"Lily, I –"

"Sev, I sent you five letters every year. And you sent me two letters out of all the five years since we left school. And I would read both of those letters ten times everyday. So, tell me, Professor Snape, how many times would I have read them in a year?" Lily taunted.

"Um –"

"And in five years… Thirty-six-thousand, and five-hundred times – and Severus, tell me this. I thought about you every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, and every day of every year. How many seconds are there in five years, Sev? How many times did I think of you?"

"Lily, I –"

"One-hundred-fifty-seven-million, sixty-eight-thousand times, Severus – and you send me two letters? I doubt you even thought of me. I doubt you even cared to open those letters. I know you got them, my owl tells me that much. Even he knows my every thought and my every feeling, whereas you just walk off with your stupid Lord Voldemort and your skull on your arm feeling as proud as can be when you're nothing but a stupid little ungrateful git!"

"Lily, calm down. I thought of you every moment of my life – every time I took a breath. Lily, you have no idea how many times I thought of you, or how many moments there were when I thought of how much I would rather be home with you rather than out there where I never know whether I'll be alive for the next second or not. Not even you know how many lonely moments I had – every millisecond of every second, every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day, every day of every week, every week of every month, every month of every year – for five whole years, Lily."

"Are you telling the truth?" Lily asked, tears now running down her face.

"Yes, Lily, I am," he said, wiping her tears away with his fingers.

She gave him a weak smile, and then wiped away her tears on her own. She got up from the bed and muttered something about making tea and walked away.

"Fifteen-billion, seven-hundred-sixty-eight-million…" Severus muttered to himself as he got up.

*

A/N: Sorry for all the numbers – I didn't mean for that to be confusing. And just to make matters straight, since I've given up on disclaimers, I got an idea for this chapter from a movie. Sorry this is so short, but if you review maybe I'll make longer ones!


	5. Dubious Doubts

A/N: Okay, this chapter is dedicated to Holly because she finally got out of her freakishly busy schedule to read it! Heh - busy my foot - you were just avoiding my fic! But really, you all are way too nice! I have more reviews than I deserve on this! Well, not that you don't need to give 'em to me - still review, please! Anyways, here's chapter five!

**– Note to Holly Curtis a.k.a. Sierra Sitruc *if she's reading this*: Hey, can you please email me? I know that it's stupid asking you here, but I can't get on IM, as you know… But I need someone to talk to, and I've missed talking to ya, buddy! *makes puppy dog eyes at her* Pweese? I wuv you! *huggles and snuggles like crazy*******

*

JULY 15, 1984

_Lily's Kitchen_

"So, Sn – Severus – um – why exactly did you come here? And how did you know I was here?" Lily asked as she stirred some sugar into their teas.

Severus cleared his throat loudly and said, "You could have always used your wands for the tea…"

Lily banged the cups down on the table making the tea splash all over. She glared at him. Severus got the message, but he still didn't seem willing to answer. He tried to change the subject again.

"Were you about to call me _Snape_?" he said, in an even, menacing tone.

"Well, when you spend too much time with - certain people - their habits tend to rub off on you…" Lily muttered as she sat down.

"Oh, really, and I don't suppose you'd like to tell me who those certain people were, hmm?" he asked her, trying to make her look him in the eye.

"What's wrong in telling you? I don't have a problem with that."

"Then tell me, damn it!" he yelled, making Lily flinch.

"Sirius Black, Liana Bl – um – Matheson, and - and…" Lily trailed off.

"And James Potter – am I right?" he said, eyeing her carefully.

"Yes, you're right. Are you happy now?" she said, getting up from the table in a rush.

Severus rolled his eyes and shook his head. It was a sign of how much he hated 'Potter's gang', as he still called it, that he refused to take notice that Lily, who was biting her lip hard enough to make it bleed and staring determinedly out of the window, had flushed a bright pink and seemed to be thinking deeply. However, after a couple minutes' silence, he had to turn and face her. Face her back, actually, for she had not yet turned around.

"Lily," he muttered.

"What do you want?" she asked him.

Severus was surprised to hear a tone of sadness in her cracked voice. She hadn't been crying, had she? Things were going too far for him to keep track of. It seemed as though he would have to keep a closer look on what Lily was up to.

"Have you been crying?" he asked, as though the idea was unthinkable.

"No, I haven't. But if you don't shut that damn mouth up I might," she said, glaring at the window.

"Lily, turn around."

"I don't want to," she said determinedly.

"Lily, I said turn around," he said calmly.

His voice held bitterness in it that Lily knew only too well. She had been subject to that bitterness more times in her life than she would have liked. But, then, if you're anybody to Severus, you were somebody to be yelled at – at least once. But Lily had changed since her childhood days at Hogwarts. She had wised up, and she was not about to give up her newly-acquired enlightenment for him – for the sake of a _man_.

"Make me," she said obstinately.

Severus (A/N: Ack - I keep writing Sirius instead of Severus! If I make such a mistake, I'm apologizing for it beforehand! I think Microsoft Word should come with an inbuilt Harry Potter fact error finder…) walked up to her, and placing both of his hands on her shoulders, he spun her around to face him. Well, he tried to anyway. He succeeded at turning her around, but her eyes were still looking at anything and everything except for him.

Lily half-expected him to wrench her head until she had no choice but to look at him, but he did nothing of the sort. He delicately raised his hand to her cheek, and with his thumb, softly wiped away Lily's tears. Finally, she looked up at him – into his dark, lifeless black eyes. Except that, for once, they were not lifeless. There was something in them that Lily had never seen before. She tried to decipher the look on his face, but before she knew what was happening, he leaned into her and she felt his lips on hers.

She flinched and shut her eyes, but did not back away. She had wanted this in so long. Here it was, finally – and yet – and yet… There seemed to be something wrong in that kiss. Something was missing. She knew that Severus meant what he was doing. Those hands around her waist could never lie – nor could those lips. Yet, there was something different about this. He was not lying. She knew he never would. If he had ever doubted his own love for her, he would never have come back. Then, it hit her. Though, it wasn't quite the answer she had expected. Lily knew that Severus still loved her, but – did she still love him?

Lily's eyes opened in a flash. She pushed him away just a slight bit harder than she had meant, and stepped back. Her mouth was still slightly open, and her emerald eyes had a look of questioning in them. She continued to step back, and accidentally tripped over the corner of her couch. As she landed on the ground with a thud, she shook her head, as though trying to get all her thoughts out of it. Quickly scrambling back to her feet, she ran back to her bedroom and locked the door.

Panting, she leaned against it, doing a quick charm on the lock to keep him from opening it. She banged her head against it again and again until it started to hurt. She shut her eyes, letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks.

*

JULY 15, 1984

_Sirius' Apartment_

"James, do you really have to go?" Liana asked him.

James picked up his bag. With a wave of his wand, it had shrunk, and he placed it in his pocket. He looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm sorry, Liana. I've got to go see Crouch about that job offer. Besides, you don't need me anymore. Sirius looks live and kicking, to me. And if he's anything like he was at school, it'll take more than just a few drinks to get him down," James said.

"James, you don't understand. The only reason he's like this is because you're here. It would hurt him to see his best friend hurt. That's why's he putting up this – this – this scam."

James turned around and looked at her. Her chestnut hair was slightly out of place, and her eyes were just a bit red, yet she was looking better than when he had first come. If he left, would she go back to how she was before? James thought of Liana like a younger sister, almost as much as he thought of Sirius as a brother. He did not want to see Liana get hurt either emotionally – due to Sirius' condition – or physically. Who knew what Sirius might do if he got drunk anymore?

"I'm sorry, Liana. I'll come back when I can, I promise. But I have to go now. I've no other choice, I'm afraid."

He smiled at her, and then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her in a quick, friendly hug.

"Alright, go then. But come back soon. I – I'm still worried about Sirius. It's silly, I know. But – well…"

"Liana, trust me. He loves you and he doesn't want to see you hurt. I'm sure he'll realize how happy you've been while he's not been – drinking, and I'm sure he'll want it to stay that way."

He gave her a grin and a wink, before picking up his things and Disapparating. Liana let out a sigh, and turned around, to see Sirius standing there, studying her carefully. She chewed her lip, wondering how long he had been standing there. He raised his eyebrows, looking away, taking a deep breath.

"So, James is leaving, huh? And you don't trust me enough to believe that I'll keep my promise to you."

She let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through her light brown hair and sitting down on the moldy green couch by the door with a huff. Her gaze flickered back up to Sirius' face lingering there for a moment, before shifting back down to the stained carpet. She started to absentmindedly run her toe over the dark coffee stain over and over again. Sirius watched her for a moment, tilting his head to one side as he did so, much like a puzzled dog.

"That's not true, Sirius... I'm just worried, that's all. I trust you. Of course, I trust you. How could I not? I – I just..."

He forced a smile, walking over to her slowly and kneeling on the floor beside her, hesitating for a split-second before running his hand up and down her arm to comfort her, giving it a light squeeze before pulling it back and resting his head on her knees like a small child. Her brown eyes flickered up to his face, and she let out a short, soft laugh. He grinned, lifting a hand to her cheek and sliding up onto the couch. He traced his finger down from her ear to her jaw, and she shivered slightly, making him pull his hand back.

"Is something wrong, Liana?" he asked, frowning.

"No, Siri... nothing's wrong... Sorry, I don't know why I –"

He pulled his hand back up, putting a finger to her lips. He scooted closer to her slowly, sliding his other arm around her waist slowly as he ran his finger over her soft lips.

"Sirius, I –"

"Hush..." he whispered, leaning closer and pulling his finger away before replacing the position with his own lips, pressed softly against hers.

She gave a soft gasp as he kissed her; slowly closing her eyes as she felt his hand lift up her chin and his other arm pull her closer and closer to him. Without thinking, she grabbed a hold of his collar with one hand, using it to reduce the distance between them to nothing. She pulled him to her, just as he was pulling her, eventually succeeding in pulling him on top of her as she fell backwards on the couch. For a moment, their lips parted, and Sirius brought his face up an inch to look at her.

"Oy, Liana, are you alright?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her in surprise.

She smiled at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down again in response. He grinned as he felt her kiss him this time, whispering teasing words into her mouth.

"You sure _you_ aren't the drunk one this time?"

She smacked him playfully, shivering again as she felt him run his lips in a chain of kisses down her neck. His hands found their way under her to the zipper at the back of her blouse, as he slowly pulled it down. She let out a gasp again, pushing him away lightly, only just realizing that her own hands had been toying with the buttons on the front of his shirt.

"Sirius, what –?"

He cut her off with another kiss as he slowly pulled off her top, dropping it on the floor without a second thought as he ran a finger over the strap of her bra. It was now his turn to shiver as he realized that the cold metal against the bare skin of his back was his belt buckle – now undone and held tightly between her fingers.

He suddenly seemed jarred to his senses, and his eyes widened as he pulled away from her, shaking his head as he looked at her. Sirius sat up quickly, swallowing as his eyes darted around as he held his head in his hands. Liana frowned, sitting up herself as she picked up her blouse from the floor and hugged it to her chest. Reaching forward, she placed a hand on his arm, just as he had done minutes ago to her. It didn't have the reaction she had expected, however.

He flinched, standing up quickly and shaking his head again as his brow furrowed in frustrated desperation. He turned and walked away quickly, accidentally banging his knee into the couch (A/N: Okay, it took me _three_ tries to type 'couch' right… *typed crouch and coach first*) as he made his way into the kitchen.

Liana felt a chill run down her back. What had she done wrong? She watched him, slowing slipping her blouse back on as she let out a sigh. Then, she felt her entire body go cold – frozen and numbed.

Sirius had opened the fridge. And he was drinking.

_But he promised…_

Sirius gulped down the liquid, ignoring the trickles of beer running down his chin and dripping onto his bare chest. He released it when it was about half-full, looking back at Liana, who was now only a few feet away from him.

"I was right not to trust you. You've broken your promise already."

He took a deep breath, lifting his arm to wipe the drops of beer from his chin. "I promised I wouldn't drink if you married me."

"And I said I would. You told me to wait a couple of years."

"Aye, I did, didn't I? It's barely been a couple of days. So what's keeping me from drinking?" he said, shrugging, his vision getting slightly blurred. He took another swig from the bottle as he brushed past her on his way back to the couch.

"I thought you meant…" Liana began, frowning once more.

"Y'know, the one thing about you women is that you always jump to conclusions…" Sirius drawled, his speech getting slurred as he turned to look at her, losing his balance and falling backwards on the couch. "I meant to do that…"

"Fine – do what you want. I couldn't care less."

(A/N: *is only just realizing how confusing this story is and how screwed up the characters in it are* Crikey…)

Liana chewed her lip, glaring at him as best she could as she picked up her coat from the kitchen counter and stomped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Sirius flinched as it shut, the automatic lock clicking into place.

*

A/N: I suck. Admit it. I do. I know I do. I haven't written in… what, six months? Sorry… *shuffles feet* I've been busy… *noddles* Anyhow, please review! Maybe then I'll get back on track… *grumbles* don't count on it, though. I can't get on the internet as easily any longer… *scowls at her parents* Blame them, okay!


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